More information about Mediation

Mediation is a way of resolving disputes between two or more parties through a result oriented approach. The participation in a mediation process is a typically voluntary (possibly enforced by law) and confidential form of alternative dispute resolution. A third party, the mediator assists the parties to negotiate a settlement. This independent, impartial person helps two or more individuals or groups to reach a solution that is acceptable to everyone. More specifically, mediation has a structure, timetable and dynamics that “ordinary” negotiation lacks. The mediator can talk to both sides separately or together. Mediators do not make judgments or determine outcomes – they ask questions that help to uncover underlying problems, assist the parties to understand the issues and help them to clarify the options for resolving their difference or dispute. The mediator acts as a neutral third party and facilitates rather than directs the process. This means that the focus is on working together to go forward, not determining who was right or wrong in the past.

Mediation can occur in a number of different fields, such as commercial, workplace, family matters, community, legal or diplomatic activity. In addition to dispute resolution, mediation can function as a means of dispute prevention, such as facilitating the process of contract negotiation.
Important note: Mediation agreements concluded through a mediation process are accepted by courts and lawyers.

The typical mediation has no formal compulsory elements, although some elements usually occur:

  • establishment of basic rules framing the boundaries of mediation (introductory remarks),
  • statement of the problem by the parties,
  • identification of issues,
  • clarification and detailing of respective interests and objectives,
  • searching for objective criteria,
  • identification of options,
  • discussing and analysing solutions,
  • adjusting and refining proposed solutions,
  • reaching an agreement and record the agreement in writing,
  • signing the agreement.


The benefits of the mediation process include:

  • TIME – The mediation process generally takes much less time (maximum 4 months) than moving a case through standard legal channels. While a case in the hands of a lawyer or a court may take months or years to resolve, mediation usually achieves a resolution in a matter of hours.
  • COST – Taking less time means spending less money on hourly fees and costs.
  • CONFIDENTIALITY – One of the hallmarks of mediation is that the process is strictly confidential. No one but the parties to the dispute and the mediator(s) know what happened. Confidentiality in mediation has such importance that in most cases the legal system cannot force a mediator to testify in court as to the content or progress of mediation. Many mediators destroy their notes taken during a mediation once that mediation has finished. The only exceptions to such strict confidentiality usually involve child abuse or actual or threatened criminal acts.
  • CONTROL – Mediation increases the control the parties have over the resolution. In a court case, the parties obtain a resolution, but control resides with the judge or jury. Often, a judge or jury cannot legally provide solutions that emerge in mediation. Thus, mediation is more likely to produce a result that is mutually agreeable for the parties.
  • COMPLIANCE – Because the result is attained by the parties working together and is mutually agreeable, compliance with the mediated agreement is usually high. This further reduces costs, because the parties do not have to employ an attorney to force compliance with the agreement. The mediated agreement is, however, fully enforceable in court.
  • MUTUALITY – Parties in a mediation process are typically ready to work mutually toward a resolution. In most circumstances the mere fact that parties are willing to mediate means that they are ready to “move” their position. In several cases, there are just some communication gaps between the parties and through the process they are more willing to understand the other party’s side and work on underlying issues to the dispute. This has the additional benefit of often preserving the relationship the parties had before the dispute.
  • SUPPORT – Mediators are trained in working with difficult situations. The mediator acts as a neutral facilitator and guides the parties through the process. The mediator helps the parties to think “outside of the box” for possible solutions to the dispute, broadening the range of possible solutions. In several cases and if requested two mediators can support the parties to reach the common agreement.



Here you can find some examples:

If you are married or in a civil partnership and would like to separate, divorce or dissolve your civil partnership, family mediation can help you to make arrangements to joint property, wealth or children. The accredited mediator is trained in all aspects of family law and able to provide you with information related to the legal process. When you go to a mediator you will be making your own arrangements that suit you in your unique circumstance. You will decide how to divide your property and wealth. You will decide what is best for your children and how you can work as a separated couple. Contact me to find out how mediation can help you in wealth separation. If you have married abroad and now wish to divorce then you can apply for a divorce.


Some married couples never get as far as divorce, but are happy to stay apart. All you need to do to be legally separated is to live apart. Officially, you can even be separated but still live under the same roof, if you arrange your household so that you no longer sleep or eat together and you do not do domestic activities, such as washing or ironing, for each other. If you separate for two years or more and both agree to the separation, this can be the basis for any future divorce. Contact me to find out how mediation can help you when you separate.


Separation and the impact on children can be a very complex situation. Children, as well as parents, feel the stress and confusion of separation. Many children feel angry, sad and frustrated about the prospect of their parents splitting up for good and are uncertain about what life will be like after their parents have moved apart. Your ability to communicate successfully with your children, meeting their needs, for safety and support, taking care of yourself and maintaining a civil relationship with your ex will have a positive effect on your children. Given the right support, your children will be able to express their feelings, grieve their loss, and emerge from this unsettling time as stronger and more resilient persons.
Children love their parents. My aim is to help parents stay in touch with their children because it increases their ability to communicate with each other. That doesn’t mean parents have to get on with each other after they separate. It does mean that they have to find a different way of co-parenting as a separated couple.